HorrorSpeak---Terror Awaits You in Every Forum!!!!: HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES

Okay guys -- I finally finished plugging out my review of House of 1000 Corpses. I might revise it within the next week or so, but I think it's pretty much done.

There's small spoiler in the final paragraph, nothing that will really ruin the film -- just a heads.

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HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES
Directed by Rob Zombie
Starring: Bill Moseley, Karen Black, Sid Haig,
Sheri Moon, Chris Hardwick, Erin Daniels

Rob Zombie makes his directorial debut with House of 1000 Corpses, a film which promised horror fans a break in the chain of post-Scream teen slashers, and a return to the dark and gritty roots found in the exploitation films from the 1970's [ala Tobe Hooper's classic, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre]; being Zombie's hope to "pay homage" to the horror films he grew up with as a child.

However, after only the first fifteen minutes into the film, it soon became apparent that Zombie had completely blurred the line between "paying homage" to these films, and copying them altogether! Zombie promised that his film would be "for horror fans, by a horror fan." More accurately, he should have said it was "by a horror fan, for Rob Zombie fans", as the horror fans that he seemingly made the film for are discovering it to be a completely unoriginal exercise in horror film making. Using the storyline from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1 and 2 as the base plot for House of 1000 Corpses, he spliced throughout the film concepts taken from "The Hills Have Eyes", "Natural Born Killers", "Evil Dead 2", "Tourist Trap", "Hellraiser", and "Motel Hell", to name a few. Having watched the film, it is now safe to say that there is not one original idea that can be found in House of 1000 Corpses.

It tells the story of 4 teenagers who are working on a book on "bizarre roadside attractions". Along the way, they stop off at Captain Spaulding's Museum of Monsters and Madmen (with the fantastic Sid Haig as the clown faced, vulgar, and quite underplayed Captain Spaulding) who introduces them to the story of Dr. Satan (ironically, this name is the most original thing you'll find in this film...), a local serial killer who was hanged, but whose body mysteriously went missing. The kids decide it would be "fun" to go and see the site where Dr. Satan was hanged, so courtesy of a map drawn by Spaulding, they head off on a "dark and stormy night".

Along the way, they pick up a hitch-hiker (Sheri Moon) who tells them that the hanging site of Dr. Satan is near her home, and promises to take them there if they give her a ride. As they drive to her house, they blow a tire (rather, it was shot out in a scene very reminiscent of "The Hills Have Eyes"). The hitch-hiker tells them her brother has a tow truck, so, they head back to her house where they are then introduced to her, rather dysfunctional, family, comprised of Otis (Bill Moseley cast in a role reminiscent of Choptop from Texas Chainsaw 2), Tiny (the burnt faced brother who bears a striking resemblance to Leatherface...), and Mother Firefly (Karen Black). Following a bizarre dinner, the teenagers are then captured and held at the mercy of the sadistic Otis and his barbaric relatives.

Zombie's "unique" style of film making -- that is, throwing everything and anything that might be remotely considered "bizarre" -- might be tolerable for a five minute music video, but sadly, not for an hour and a half film. This isn't to say that all film-makers coming from a background in music video direction lack the talent to make the transition from three minute shorts to full length features; on the contrary, all one has to do is look at Mark Romanek and his full length film, One Hour Photo. The fact is: Rob Zombie simply lacks the skills needed to make that transition needed and successfully sustain a film for an hour and a half.

Throughout the film, he relied heavily on camera and creature effects (one creature was near identical to a Cenobite from Hellraiser) to hide the awful truth: that in reality, there was nothing more than a twenty minute story buried somewhere underneath a solid hour and a half of over-the-top special effects.

I understand what Zombie was trying to accomplish -- he wanted his film to be as bizarre as his music videos. It was his execution of this that was the problem. We have seen in past examples that bizarre scenes can actually be used to further the development of a film [i.e. Mulholland Drive, and every other David Lynch film for that matter] yet in House of 1000 Corpses, it was clear that Zombie went all out and made each scene as bizarre and twisted as he possible could, yet barely any of it helped to benefit the development or flow of the film. The majority of his efforts felt forced, out of place, and made itimpossible for this horror film fan to be drawn into the film.

So, if you manage to make it through the complete hour and a half film (for a seemingly short horror flick, it tends to really drag…) do not expect to begreeted by a satisfying ending. Sadly, it is quite predictable, and the question mark ending leaves the doors wide open for a sequel.

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Keep it bloody, keep it sick, and keep the gore flowing!
My GUIDE TO GORE: an ongoing project in sanguine soaked celluloid.