DanielSavage
(Flesh Eater)
02/04/08 04:46 AM
Re: Looking for some Critique.

Sounds good man, seems to be filled with action but if you are here for constructive criticism I have a little for ya. First, I think you have a really good eye for detail but you also have a SMALL grammar problem that could easily be corrected. Secondly, I'm not feeling the idea of guys named wrath, lust, vanity etc., it sounds kinda corny. I think it's a good idea for a group of big bads but maybe you should put some thought into just naming the "gang" the 7 or the deadly 7 or something along those lines. The last thing is pacing. It seems like there's an awful lot of stuff going on really fast, If this was a movie what you've written here so far wouldn't be more than a few minutes long and you've already introduced a lot of different characters. It might be a little too much for some people to follow. I have read on numerous occasions that when you are writing a screenplay that each page should represent somewhere around 1 minute of screen time. I apologize if anything I've said pisses you off but you asked for criticism. My advice is to keep up with the writing because it does look interesting but it really is fast and a lot of people may not dig that...


Contact Us HorrorSpeak

Powered by UBB.threads™ 6.5.2